Reason #2

I am thirty four years old and you still make me feel like a disappointment. In fact, the only person who is disappointed in me is you.

Well, except me, but that's a whole other blog.

Reason #1

You forgot the part where you were supposed to love me and take care of me and go some way towards giving me the tools to help me become a well-adjusted adult.

Mind you, I'm not entirely sure who the blame really lies with - you, or Stowells of Chelsea.